Bathroom run

How to go to the bathroom without your baby noticing

Once my children were born, I made a “mom” decision to stop wearing perfume on a regular basis. I don’t like strong smells and since I’d be holding them so close, they wouldn’t like it either. There is no way they are going to like something I don’t, right?

Anyway, my daughter is usually calm so I try to take advantage when she is playing to go slowly—very slowly—to the bathroom but the second I sit on the toilet she starts crying as if there was a platoon coming her way. I don’t even know how she notices I am gone because I pull some serious silent ninja moves; probably my natural scent is like a Chanel No. 5 and my presence is defined by my pleasant aroma.

She loves to follow me to the bathroom now and made it her favorite place in the house. There is a possibility she thinks she is a prison guard and must keep count of my bathroom minutes, I already consulted with her doctor and it’s a side effect of of watching Orange is the New Black while being pregnant. I am still looking for a great solution to go to the bathroom without the guilt trip of abandoning a child for a whole thirty seconds. For now, I could just hire a babysitter for some me-time once in a while instead of thinking I could compare myself to a luxurious fragrance.

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Looking recommendations for a babysitter, someone who sells really loud and distracting toys, and a massage therapist – I recommend you check with your doctor before attempting a bathroom run.

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